The FIFA World Ranking (God save us all)

(Snide remarks in red)

(1) 1. Brazil 73.70 points Well, they were unbeatable in 1998...

(2) 2. France 70.06 They are the champions of the earth, but not the best

(3) 3. Germany 68.54 Apparently the points are given for a player's age...

(4) 4. Croatia 66.58

(5) 5. Argentina 65.26

(6) 6. Czech Republic 64.71 And what a World Cup they had... A good Euro 2000 and they're ranked for life.

(7) 7. Yugoslavia 64.19

(8=) 8. Italy 64.01

(8=) 9. Netherlands 63.67 Good, but not better than the Yugos or Czechs (?)

(10) 10. England 62.59

(11) 11. Norway 62.17 Fair placement for the World powerhouses (Thppbbt!)

(12) 12. Mexico 61.96 Viva Mexico, consumidor de mucha Coca-Cola...

(13) 13. Romania 60.21

(14) 14. Spain 59.77

(15) 15. Chile 58.91

(16) 16. Morocco 58.50

(18) 17. Denmark 57.72

(19) 18. U.S. 57.26 Last in the World Cup, but still number 19

(17) 19. Colombia 56.70 Even without 'Tino

(20) 20. Egypt 56.37 Er?

(21) 21. South Korea 55.42

(22) 22. Japan 55.32

(24) 23. Zambia 54.97 So much better than Sweeden, Portugal,....

(23) 24. Austria 54.94

(26) 25. Paraguay 54.60 Their dream is to overcome Zambia in the rankings...

(25) 26. Tunisia 54.11

(29) 27. Jamaica 53.14

(27) 28. South Africa 53.01

(28) 29. Russia 53.00 Need to drink more Coke

(31) 30. Belgium 52.14